Saturday, January 2, 2010
The mating habits of the christmas reindeer
The ritual begins when the population of reindeer shed their summer coats, revealing the golden shimmering skin underneath. The reindeer then congregate, forming two large orbs (one male, one female). The golden orgy froths and frenzies for 12 days climaxing in a spectacular "fireworks" show in which the gendered gametes are projected from each orb at extremely high speed. The force of the collision forms a mushroom cloud, and destroys the christmas village. The new Santa Clause is formed at ground zero, which then distributes reindeer spores in multicoloured box shaped packages all around the world. Once the santa completes its jolly task, he returns to the spawning ground and melts into a highly fertile mound from which grows the first tree of the new christmas village, marking the spot to which the reindeer will return for next year's mating season.